Eyebrows Make A Man…

the crazy naked littles

Okay, we have had a lot of laughs on this particular blog site about eyebrows.  I, alone, am a living, walking, talking, breathing eyebrow failure of a woman.  BUT TODAY…today it was all about a lesson my son was teaching my youngest daughter.  And, I am willing to bet, it’s a lesson that YOU, AS WELL, didn’t even know 😉

Maxwell (age 4), sitting at our lovely farmhouse renovated table, messy hair, and slightly hoarse morning voice, eating the “talking” cereal with his little sister, GoGo Bean (aka Josephine Diane), looked excitedly at her and proclaimed, “JOSEPHINE!!!!!  You’re growing EYEBROWS!  Soon you’re going to turn into a MAN!”

And as excited as he was for Josephine to turn into a man, this newfound knowledge did not sit as well with his 3-year-old sister who then proceed to cry, “I DON’T WANT EYEBROWS!”

Entertainment abounds, my friends…

Even in the art of eyebrows!

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Getting in Shape? Not me…

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Saw this on Instagram this morning…I nearly died laughing.  Because.  Well, just because this is not my #truth when it comes to my infamous eyebrow and s.  First of all, I don’t get in shape.  Second—not even my eyebrows are there!

Last—I actually never knew the internet was FULL of all sorts of quotes about EYEBROWS!

I mean…I thought it was just my blog that ranted about these top hovers.  But, no.  I was rolling.  And so I found a few fun quotes and a few blog reminders so we all may enjoy!

Here we go…a few fun internet finds and how I tend to blend right in to this craze.

Enjoy!

Jack Black has something to say about eyebrows, and I learned this one the hard way…When I didn’t have one:  Vanity Will Get You One Eyebrow—Less

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Next..I never knew how important they were until I went to make a statement about my marriage: Marital Unbliss and Lack of Sleep Had a Devastating Effect on My Eyebrows

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I guess this last one is especially humorous to me since I write a blog…Haha!  Enjoy the quote and the blog: Do You Want To Wax Your Mustache?

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Do you want to wax your mustache?????

Are you freaking KIDDING me?!

First I turn FORTY—as if that is NOT bad enough—and then I go to get my eyebrows waxed when the lady doesn’t seem to think that IT (turning 40) is FITTING enough–but now she must POINT OUT and ASK…

“ARE YOU ALSO HERE TO GET YOUR MUSTACHE WAXED????”

My laser eyes and deadly stare did NOTHING to hinder her from asking again, “AND YOUR MUSTACHE????”

I gasped as if I still have my 18-year-old glow and youth and not a STRAY whisker ANYWHERE on my face and answered her, “MY MUSTACHE????!!!!  I don’t have a mustache!!!!!”  And huffed loudly as I threw my awesome body (okay, lowered myself gently due to my aching back) onto the waxing lounge and pointed out that “I DO NOT, under any circumstances, WANT CRAZY TRENDY EYEBROWS!  JUST SIMPLE WAXING…please.”

Before I got off the chair, she, DAFT AS A…????  Well, who knows what—something daft… ASKED AGAIN, “Are you sure you don’t want the mustache waxed???”

Yes, LADY!  Very sure…

Right?

Or, I mean, do I have a mustache????

Go to mirror…

Peer closely…

Squint, really, since my eyes are not the best.

Still can’t see.  Turn glasses crooked on my nose so that I can see (all bi-focal style)…and re-peer.

Surely that is not a mustache, it’s simply glitter, right?!?!?!  A light glistening above my upper lip????

Right!

And, so with indignance, I walk PROUDLY out of that salon…

Mustache and all.

 

Top 5…In case you missed them.

Here are the Top 5 Most-Read Blog Postings.  And a second chance to read the posts, in case you missed them:

1.  How to Keep the Romance Alive-or kill it!  Your hair may choosehttp://wp.me/p3Bh9m-50

*A blog posting on what or what not to do to keep your romance alive and to help your loved one feel special.

2.  Marital Un-Bliss and Lack of Sleep Had a Devastating Effect on My Eyebrowshttp://wp.me/p3Bh9m-3i

*A blog posting on a marital fight and a rash decision…not going the way it was planned.

3.  My New Chevy Camarohttp://wp.me/p3Bh9m-9c

*A blog posting by my husband on helping your children realize their true legacy in God.

4.  Don’t throw the baby out with the bathwater…Oops:  http://wp.me/p3Bh9m-b8

*A blog posting about coal living and adventures in Poland.

5.  I Am a Tiger That Has Earned Her Stripes…Roar!http://wp.me/p3Bh9m-8o

*A blog posting about a jeep man that pulled me over.  Let’s just say, I contained my road rage, but a funny picture did flash through my mind!

Enjoy!

Marital Un-Bliss and Lack of Sleep had a Devastating Effect on My Eyebrows

Once upon a time, there was a lady—and she met a guy.  And they thought the other was pretty cute (Well, maybe not initially—but, after a few dates, they were smitten).

Kiss.  Kiss.  Cuddle.  Cuddle.

Dun, dun, da-dun.  Dun, dun, da-dun! Here comes the bride…

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And then 12 years later we found ourselves here.

You know…

Old mom (give me old—because at 36 my body TOLD me it was OLD) to a newborn that went from…

This:

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To this:

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In just under 5 minutes.

And then we finally got him here:

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To send him back to this:

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Phew!  Back here:

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And now for his first international trip—German hospital, here we come:

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Finally, bringing him back home to us here…

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Besides being exhausted, everything’s looking pretty a-okay, right???

And that’s when we realize that sometimes photos are deceiving.

Here.  Let me give you some examples.

Look at how absolutely lovely (yes, I’m calling us lovely) we look together in these photos:

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And, yes.  Times, over the years, were good.

But, oh…

This past Fall it went from:  birds chirping and harps playing while choirs are singing to pictures off the wall, loud shouting, and lots of crying in approximately 2.4 (seconds, that is).

And then that’s when I did it…

Lack of sleep and marital un-bliss did me in!

I loudly announced that I was off to the hairdresser and I was CUTTING my hair!  (That’ll show my husband, eh?  My hair, that he LOVED, was going, going, going…Gone!)

And I drove to the nearest city (we live in a little Polish village) and trudged up two flights of creepy stairs (literally creepy stairs) and announced, “I want to CUT MY HAIR!”

Even the hairdresser questioned my decision making, asking me many times…

How short?

Are you sure?

How about just a couple centimeters?

Loudly did I protest!

No…Cut it all.  To my chin!  Get rid of my hair.  Oh, and, by the way, color it while you are at it!  Color it…This color!  (I pointed to a color on the chart).

Again the hair dresser questioned…

Are you sure?

How about this color instead…???

Boy—I must be very opinionated and protest loudly because I INSISTED…

No!  This color.  This short!

And, so, reluctantly, she did it…

And, yes.  She was RIGHT.  I was WRONG!

My hair.  Oh, my once rather decently glorious hair went from decently glorious to ‘scarecrow in a field’ worthy in just under 2 hours.

Ugh.

Well.  Nothing I could do now.

(Speaking too soon, obviously)

Ooooooh, look!  A lady that can pluck my eyebrows!  Here I go, I’m gonna clean up my brows.  Yes!

(Laying myself down on the table)…

Nothing too crazy, okay?  Just normal eyebrows, okay?  I said to the eager looking cosmetologist.

Okay…she responded.

And that’s when I felt it…

A refreshingly warm liquid being painted onto my eyebrows.

I thought—What?  Is she going to wax my brows?  I thought she was going to pluck my brows.

And then she did something else.  She wiped the liquid off.

That’s odd.  I thought.  Maybe it’s a new treatment for brows—kind-of like a brow-cial (instead of facial).

And then she did something else.  She plucked my brows.

Now curiosity was KILLING me.

Hmmm.  It appears she’s done.  I sit up.  She hands me a mirror.

Friends, that’s when I realized that my husband—although the CULPRIT in this original bit of marital dispute-was The Winner.  I was CLEARLY the loser.

And to prove that he won and I lost, I’ll post these:

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While he still looked like this:

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Sigh.

Moral of the story…

When you are in a time of marital un-bliss and you feel like you NEED to do something crazy in order to simply survive, sit back, open your computer, and take a look at my eyebrows.

If those suckers don’t convince you, well, then, perhaps counseling will…

God bless counseling.